Tuesday, November 15, 2016

BITCH I'M BACK!


 
What up, people!? Did y’all miss me? I know y’all did. Anyway, excuse me for taking a whole month off without giving you a new blog post. Thank you for your patience. I mean you really had no choice… because I mean… what else can you do? Lol. Anyway, if you read the last blog, then you already know how emotionally draining it was and I needed a moment to get back to myself. Plus, I ain’t have much to say and I don’t want to feed y’all little bits and pieces of useless blog posts that mean nothing to me or you. Mostly to me, but I thought about y’all, too. So, now that I’m back. Let the fuckery begin!!

 
So much has happened in the last month, where do we begin… I guess we can start with my passion… COOKING! Yes, I’m back in the kitchen trying new things and new recipes. I've even catered two events in the last month. FatBoy BBQ and Catering is still in business and still making moves. We’ve  got two more events coming up and currently in the midst of planning them now. Meanwhile, have you guys checked out toy2theworld.com? Click the link, donate some money, tell your friends and then bring your ass right back over here and finish reading this post!! I ain’t playing either. If I hurry up, I can drop this blog later today. I know some of y’all got paid today because it’s payday. It’s the middle of the month and most of your bills should be paid so gone and drop a $100 donation. Yes, I’m all in your pockets and finances lol. Beyonce’ ain’t taking your rent money anymore and you should be caught up by now. And since I’m international now, yep I see my readers over there in China, Indonesia, Japan and Brazil, y’all can donate too! Shameless promotions… yea, y’all are here for it. You don’t have a choice! Plus, PayPal knows how to convert your yens and euros to these good old American dollars.
 
I also have a new psychologist. I still like the old one, but I believe he took me as far as our relationship could go. Plus, I owe him like $200 and my EAP just renewed. Finesse. And I need someone who can take me to infinity and beyond. But, I guess Buzz Lightyear is just a fictional character on a scary movie. Have you guys really looked at the undertones of those movies? That bear in the last movie was a little much and didn’t they almost cremate his ass at the end. That’s some scary movie shit. Well, back to my psychologist… Her name is Ms. Ann and she might be one of the funniest non-funniest people I know. She’s the type where literally everything goes over her head until you fully explain it to her. She’s like Rose Nylund without the… wait, she’s IS just like Rose Nylund, but she challenges me and gets me all in my emotions and shit. I hate her. Not really, but I do. I don’t… Maybe. See… my emotions… My last blog post was so cathartic, that I have really been on an upswing with my feelings and emotions. And for some reason, I have been the most open and honest than I have ever been in my life, which I guess is a good thing for me. A not so good thing for others, but they will live. She has me reading The Seven Seasons of the Man in the Mirror. Though I’ve only read a couple of chapters, I can see myself already. Let’s hope Ms. Ann is prepared for this rollercoaster that we call Duke. That guh is about to lose all her edges.
 
 
Oh, and I’m technically a winning cheer coach now. Lawd, don’t even ask me how and why. Just know I have 17 menstruating preteen girls, including my own, that make me want to slap them and their parents. I have never seen so much devilment in my life. These girls are something else. You would think these pretty devil spawns would have the spirits of every Dementor that every appeared in Harry Potter and my “Expectp Patronum” spell has to be on crack and meth to remotely deter their will to suck the soul out of me. Let me stop playing, they aren’t that bad, but damn near close. Lol. I have seen them at their worst and best. I’ve made them cry and laugh. I’ve hurt their feelings and apologized for it. They’ve been at my house. They’ve spent my money, took my time and energy. I have screamed and hollered. So have they. They’ve taught me how to JuJu on that Beat and Get Turnt Up. I can now Hit Them Folks with the best of them and know all the ratchet dances of Atlanta. I have watched them grow over the last 3 years. Seen them come in dead last to defending champs. I have pushed them to their limits and been the wind beneath their Dementor cloaks. They are my babies, my cheer daughters, and I will fight anyone over them. Fuck with them if you want, you will see this teddy bear turn grizzly real quick. I am Coach Issac. Coach J. THE CHEER DAD, yes all caps, they are the Fayette County Torches, and I am proud.

 


 
I figured I would end this post with my thoughts on the election. Hell, everyone else has so here it goes. Did I like the candidates? No. Did I still vote? Yes. There were more on the ballot than just the presidency. There were some amendments that I felt strongly about and I wanted my voice to be heard. Was I upset that Trump won? Yes, I didn’t know Cheetos could be president. Am I still upset? No. This country is still racist, sexist, and not a place for the poor and the minority. Did we need a presidential election to tell us that? If you did, you are crazier than all outdoors. Damn that was country. This is the way I see it, I will continue to get up every morning and go to work. I will continue to teach my child that life isn’t fair and that she will have to work twice as hard to get half of what some of the others may get. I will still be out here Ubering on the weekends and tutoring during the week. I will continue to pray to God that these kidneys, mind, and body stay healthy. I will continue to shade whatever foolishness that crosses my path. And I will always be Duke. Now if for whatever reason any of those things change, trust and believe that it will have nothing to do with who is in office. I’m more concerned with why I couldn’t watch “This is Us” while the results were coming in. Meanwhile, check that show out too. That’s good TV right there. I’m about to start a new position at the job and get to this money. Hell, I’m really hoping that since Trump is the new president-elect, I can get a tax cut. My household has been in a different tax bracket for the last 7 years and I’m tired of paying the IRS money every year. But again, if that doesn’t happen, I will continue to give them this funky ass $50 and renew that payment plan every year. Please and thank you! Process this election in whatever way gives you the comfort that your spirit needs. Give people the time and space to grieve, some of them are really hurt and scared and I get it. I’m slightly scared; I won’t lie like I’m not. I’ve accepted that and my spirit is well with it. Hopefully everyone will get to that same space soon.
 
 
As I leave, I do want to leave you guys with a Duke’s Direct Message:
WE are not our ancestors. WE will not tolerate whatever sense of entitlement you think this election has given you. WE will continue to protest. WE will continue to fight. WE will be on edge and ready to pop off. WE are tired of hashtags. WE will be alright. WE will survive. WE WILL CONTINUEWE. WILL. CONTINUE.
 
 
Sophistication:
Completing the proper FMLA paperwork to cover your absences from your place of employment

Ratchet:
Feeling like JoAnn the Scammer because you know you can take an extended Thanksgiving and Christmas vacation from the job and they can’t fire you because you got FMLA

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... SOPHISTICATED RATCHETNESS!!
 
 
 

Sincerely Yours,

Duke R. de la S.