Friday, December 30, 2016

2016, BYE BITCH!


Greetings People,

I know I have been gone for a minute, but I was out here trying to share the love and blessings this holiday season. I hope you did too! As the year comes to a close, my BooThang had the great idea of writing a letter to 2016 to bring in 2017. I too thought it was a great idea so I did. With the year I have had, I thought it would be a great way to bring some closure. And it did. I have decided to share it with you. When I started this blog, it was supposed to be an outlet to release my thoughts and emotions. You guys will never know much this blog has help me throughout this year. If that was a word 10 times better than, cathartic, it still would not have the power to fully express what this blog has been for me. I wish you all the best in 2017. With that being said, I present to you the last blog post for this year. Thoughtfully entitled…. 2016, BYE BITCH!
Dear 2016,

Come on in the room and sit right next to me, we have some things to talk about. See I thought we were going to be good and shade the masses together but I see that you had other plans. But it’s cool, there’s a reason and a season for everything and ever body and your season is about to be over in like 3 days. So in the words of Bernadine GET CHO SHIT! GET CHO SHIT! AND GET OUT! But hold on, I ain’t done…
 
I thought the year was going to be great. My job was on point. My friends were getting married and shit. I was gearing up for my annual birthday trip and was about to make some major moves. But you killed that shit real quick. Had me all down to the Punta Cana bout to die and shit. Tried to have my kinfolks keep me down there in some hospital where I couldn’t even drink the water. I mean I had all the ocean and beach I wanted and couldn’t even step outside. Oh but bitch I made it back to these United States of America. Though it was the longest plane ride I have ever took in my life. And that walk to customs damn near had me dead to the wheelchair. And while we are talking about it, Hartsfield Jackson International Airport, yall got to do something about that customs shit. You got to walk the entire way to Birmingham just to show a passport for 3 seconds. Hell I could have taken a whole new trip to another country and back and people would still be making their way to that damn picture kiosk. And why do we even have that damn picture kiosk if I still got to hand this damn piece of paper to a real ass person just for them to look at me and nod their head. Bitch I ain’t trying to be nobody’s terrorists, unless they giving out some free chicken and ribs. Man if I was a terrorist, I wouldn’t even have the strength enough to do anything after that walk. Or maybe that’s the point. CLEVER. Anyway 2016, I done got all off topic and shit. Back to your bitch ass.

I now see that you and your boy 2015 were trying to plot on a nigga. He sent you to finish what he started huh? Meanwhile, I ‘m still here hoe! Your weak ass plan failed. Cause I’m still Biker Shuffling on your ass. So you attacked my body. That’s cool. I still made it. I still JuJu on that Beat in the mirror. But you definitely left your mark, and I’m reminded of it every day when I take my Genvoya. Oh yes bitch! I’m down to one pill a day! Yes nigga, these kidneys are flourishing. Yes these T-Cells are rising a Phoenix. Yes this viral load is damn near nonexistent like Lil Kim’s old face. Yes these tumors are non-cancerous. See when your boy 2015 hit me, I staggered a little bit and found my footing, but you came in for the knockout punch. So thank you for my AIDS diagnosis and those 2 T-Cells you left me with. Thank you for those failed kidneys. Thank you for the tumors in my colon. Thank you for the 22 pills I had to take daily. Thank you for the mental anguish that I to deal with. Thank you for tears that streamed down my face. Thank you for the feelings of hopelessness and abandonment. Thank you. Your tunneled vision saw me as a tree but you missed the forest surrounding me. You missed my friends and family that stood beside me. You missed my mother-in-law and your specialized nursing. You missed my friends that rallied around me and took pictures with me while I laid in the hospital bed. You missed my family in Christ that prayed for me. You missed my daughter and my will to see her outside of the hospital. You missed my BooThang pushing me beyond my limits. You missed my medical team and all my Piedmont Hospital family. You missed my Psychiatric team. Bitch YOU MISSED!
2016 you have been the absolute worst thing that has ever happened in my life, but just like many others, I had to find the beauty in you. I see your potential. I see your light. I saw my friends getting married. I saw my friends getting engaged. I see my new position and my pay increase. I see new babies being brought in this world. I saw my cheer daughters win championships. I see the smiles and the laughs and the joy that the day brings. I SEE YOU. ALL OF YOU. And you know what, I’m really not mad at you.

Though some days are better than others and I still cry sometimes, 2016, you have made me so much better. You have given me a sense of ultimate freedom that no one can take. I have a new sense of boldness that my family and friends may not be ready for. I have a new sense of me. And if I don’t take anything else from you this year, I take me, all of me.  At the end of the day, well year, you stopped nothing. My life continues. My joy flourishes. My heart flutters. And 2016, you will soon be a thing of the past. I salute you and I leave you with this quote from my Instagram page:
 
So.... today I realized that I have smile and laughed more than I have cried. I've seen friends get married and watched other excelled in many aspects of their life. I coached 17 young ladies and watched them cheer to victory. I've been able to be a blessing to some families this holiday season and even gotten another raise at the job. I've gotten some things off my chest, and though I've been hurt and maybe have hurt other people, my black boy joy is flourishing. So I'm gonna focus on life there after and my future in it. So Julyda27th will be no more. I will simply be Issac. And you know what, I'm glad to meet and be him.
 
To those that I have hurt during this year, I am truly sorry. For those that have had the worst possible year ever, I pray with you. For those that strive to be better in the New Year, I stand with you. For those that want nothing but an abundance of life, I live with you. 2016, sir, you may take your exit, curtain call, and standing ovation. And then you can ride off into the sunset and our distant memories. You have left your mark, with time and Palmer’s CoCo butter, your marks and blemishes will soon fade away. I won’t say that I will miss you, but there will always be a tiny piece of you in my heart.
 
With the Biggest Smile and the Most Content Heart,
Duke R. de la S.