Greetings People,
I know I have been gone for a minute, but I was out here trying
to share the love and blessings this holiday season. I hope you did too! As the
year comes to a close, my BooThang had the great idea of writing a letter to
2016 to bring in 2017. I too thought it was a great idea so I did. With the
year I have had, I thought it would be a great way to bring some closure. And
it did. I have decided to share it with you. When I started this blog, it was
supposed to be an outlet to release my thoughts and emotions. You guys will
never know much this blog has help me throughout this year. If that was a word
10 times better than, cathartic, it still would not have the power to fully
express what this blog has been for me. I wish you all the best in 2017. With
that being said, I present to you the last blog post for this year.
Thoughtfully entitled…. 2016, BYE BITCH!
Dear 2016,
Come on in the room and sit right next to me, we have some
things to talk about. See I thought we were going to be good and shade the
masses together but I see that you had other plans. But it’s cool, there’s a
reason and a season for everything and ever body and your season is about to be
over in like 3 days. So in the words of Bernadine GET CHO SHIT! GET CHO SHIT!
AND GET OUT! But hold on, I ain’t done…
I thought the year was going to be great. My job was on
point. My friends were getting married and shit. I was gearing up for my annual
birthday trip and was about to make some major moves. But you killed that shit
real quick. Had me all down to the Punta Cana bout to die and shit. Tried to
have my kinfolks keep me down there in some hospital where I couldn’t even
drink the water. I mean I had all the ocean and beach I wanted and couldn’t
even step outside. Oh but bitch I made it back to these United States of
America. Though it was the longest plane ride I have ever took in my life. And
that walk to customs damn near had me dead to the wheelchair. And while we are
talking about it, Hartsfield Jackson International Airport, yall got to do
something about that customs shit. You got to walk the entire way to Birmingham
just to show a passport for 3 seconds. Hell I could have taken a whole new trip
to another country and back and people would still be making their way to that
damn picture kiosk. And why do we even have that damn picture kiosk if I still
got to hand this damn piece of paper to a real ass person just for them to look
at me and nod their head. Bitch I ain’t trying to be nobody’s terrorists,
unless they giving out some free chicken and ribs. Man if I was a terrorist, I
wouldn’t even have the strength enough to do anything after that walk. Or maybe
that’s the point. CLEVER. Anyway 2016, I done got all off topic and shit. Back
to your bitch ass.
I now see that you and your boy 2015 were trying to plot on
a nigga. He sent you to finish what he started huh? Meanwhile, I ‘m still here
hoe! Your weak ass plan failed. Cause I’m still Biker Shuffling on your ass. So
you attacked my body. That’s cool. I still made it. I still JuJu on that Beat
in the mirror. But you definitely left your mark, and I’m reminded of it every
day when I take my Genvoya. Oh yes bitch! I’m down to one pill a day! Yes
nigga, these kidneys are flourishing. Yes these T-Cells are rising a Phoenix. Yes this viral load is damn near nonexistent like Lil Kim’s old
face. Yes these tumors are non-cancerous. See when your boy 2015 hit me, I
staggered a little bit and found my footing, but you came in for the knockout
punch. So thank you for my AIDS diagnosis and those 2 T-Cells you left me with.
Thank you for those failed kidneys. Thank you for the tumors in my colon. Thank
you for the 22 pills I had to take daily. Thank you for the mental anguish that
I to deal with. Thank you for tears that streamed down my face. Thank you for
the feelings of hopelessness and abandonment. Thank you. Your tunneled vision
saw me as a tree but you missed the forest surrounding me. You missed my
friends and family that stood beside me. You missed my mother-in-law and your
specialized nursing. You missed my friends that rallied around me and took
pictures with me while I laid in the hospital bed. You missed my family in
Christ that prayed for me. You missed my daughter and my will to see her
outside of the hospital. You missed my BooThang pushing me beyond my limits.
You missed my medical team and all my Piedmont Hospital family. You missed my
Psychiatric team. Bitch YOU MISSED!
2016 you have been the absolute worst thing that has ever
happened in my life, but just like many others, I had to find the beauty in
you. I see your potential. I see your light. I saw my friends getting married.
I saw my friends getting engaged. I see my new position and my pay increase. I
see new babies being brought in this world. I saw my cheer daughters win
championships. I see the smiles and the laughs and the joy that the day brings.
I SEE YOU. ALL OF YOU. And you know what, I’m really not mad at you.
Though some days are better than others and I still cry
sometimes, 2016, you have made me so much better. You have given me a sense of
ultimate freedom that no one can take. I have a new sense of boldness that my
family and friends may not be ready for. I have a new sense of me. And if I
don’t take anything else from you this year, I take me, all of me. At the end of the day, well year, you stopped
nothing. My life continues. My joy flourishes. My heart flutters. And 2016, you
will soon be a thing of the past. I salute you and I leave you with this quote
from my Instagram page:
So.... today I realized that I have smile and laughed more than I have
cried. I've seen friends get married and watched other excelled in many aspects
of their life. I coached 17 young ladies and watched them cheer to victory.
I've been able to be a blessing to some families this holiday season and even
gotten another raise at the job. I've gotten some things off my chest, and
though I've been hurt and maybe have hurt other people, my black boy joy is
flourishing. So I'm gonna focus on life there after and my future in it. So
Julyda27th will be no more. I will simply be Issac. And you know what, I'm glad
to meet and be him.
To those that I have hurt during this year, I am truly sorry. For those
that have had the worst possible year ever, I pray with you. For those that
strive to be better in the New Year, I stand with you. For those that want
nothing but an abundance of life, I live with you. 2016, sir, you may take your
exit, curtain call, and standing ovation. And then you can ride off into the
sunset and our distant memories. You have left your mark, with time and
Palmer’s CoCo butter, your marks and blemishes will soon fade away. I won’t say
that I will miss you, but there will always be a tiny piece of you in my heart.
With the Biggest Smile and the Most Content Heart,
Duke R. de la S.