Now that the title has gotten your attention, let me go
ahead and be the fucking woman hating misogynistic idiot that apparently 3 bitches decided that I was without
knowing me past a comment on a damn picture. Let’s unpack the bullshit that
these bitches placed upon my life. Let’s explore why my penis is the gateway to
God’s heavenly kingdom. Let’s dive deep into why I get so defensive over a
comment on a picture, and feel the need to tell women to calm down. I should
then try to figure out why I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, “FUCK
YOU BITCH, DON’T NOBODY HATE YOUR BITTER, WANNA START AN ARGUMENT BECAUSE IT’S
FUCKING SUNDAY ASS!” Or maybe, I just
want to find out why I have to be labeled as such from people who have never
had a true interaction with me. You ready? I think I am too. AHHHHHHHHH HERE IT
GOES!
Let me sincerely apologize for that opening statement. You
guys that know me, the real me, know I truly don’t feel that way and that I would
never intentionally go off on a woman like that for any reason. I have too much
respect for everything that women, especially black women, have contributed to
this world and more importantly my life. I just needed to see what it felt like
to react in ways that I have been labeled as. You know what, it didn’t feel
good. Why, because it’s not me. It’s not how I feel about women. Being labeled
as a “fucking woman hating idiot”, left me in a place of hurt and confusion. Especially
when I know that the label doesn’t fit me and my life. Talking about unpacking
things, let’s unpack that. I have been labeled so many things in my life that I
used to try to live up to those labels. You know where those labels had me, in
therapy crying uncontrollably and coming to the realization that my life has
been nothing but a constant battle over who I was and what I was labeled. I don’t
know if watching season 2 of 13 Reasons Why or being in the hospital with Lord
Malik this week has contributed to how I’m feeling, but yea, I was triggered.
DO I REALLY HATE WOMEN? I would like to say the answer is “No”,
but I really had to look at myself to figure it out. When people say the same
things about you, you start to wonder if what they are saying is true. This
would be the 3rd woman to tell me within a 2 month span that I needed
to check my thoughts on women. Again, I was about to label myself something
that wasn’t of my own doing. Labels coming from people that don’t even know me,
had me contemplating life. I won’t say the name of the space where I encountered
these women, but I will say that I entered the space because I have the upmost
respect for the person that created it. I also wanted to be in a space where my
thought processes would get challenged and be able to get understanding of
things that I don’t. I am raising a young black woman, but as a man, what the
Hell do I know about being a black woman in today’s society? I wanted to make
sure that I wasn’t the woman hating man that is running rampant in the streets.
I don’t want my wife and daughter to feel less than in a place where they
should be on a pedestal. I have learned so many things from being in the space,
especially about women. I asked questions and took every answer I got to heart.
I got a better understanding of my place in a woman’s life and more importantly,
I learned when to shut my fat ass up. I learned to listen, to fight with, and
to fully protect the sanctity of womanhood. For that, I am truly grateful. I
ain’t gonna lie though, I ran right on over to Facebook to ask them what they
thought about me hating women. We came to the conclusion that I don’t like
people in general, light skinneded people being at the top of that list. I know
I say some fucked up, yet true as shit, statements, but I never thought I was a
woman hater.
I felt a sense of hypocrisy that really made me give up on
trying to be there for women as a whole. I was supposed to be this woman hating
man, but I never called them any names or even used vulgar language with them. I
was called an idiot and told that my thinking was fucking absurd or something.
I really don’t quite remember because this strand of weed my friend got me
smoking is some good shit. I swear I can’t remember what the Hell I just wrote
in my last paragraph. But that’s what proofreading is for!! Anyway, back to what
I was saying. I mean it came right out the fucking blue, like DAMNNNNNNN!
When I tried to explain to them that it had nothing to do
with them being women and everything to do with trying to keep the mood light
as the post we were commenting on, I got hit with an insult of my intelligence.
I was then mocked for telling one woman to spell my name correctly and to
direct her comments to me if she was talking to me. After that, I just simply
said, “You win.” Now let’s turn this around, if I would have called them names,
used vulgar language, played their intelligence and then mock them for the Hell
of it, where would the conversation be? Answer the question, I want to know.
See this is why so many people are silent on so many things.
How can you expect me to support you when you just reduced me to nothing? WHY
would I support you? They got me over here about to turn on the whole
population of women because they were not able to get out of their own personal
feelings and agendas to listen to what I had to say. We couldn’t even have a
true dialogue to agree to disagree. If this was a teachable moment, I would
have been all for it but it was lost as soon as they called me a “fucking idiot”,
I think, again GOOD WEED. I’m just saying, can men, especially if you don’t
know them, get the benefit of the doubt before you go off and call him a woman
hating idiot? Some of us are truly trying to be here for you guys, but can
easily be turned away. Matter of fact, let me not even say men, can I get the
benefit of the doubt because unlike some men, I actually would like to grow as
much as possible. I won’t ever turn my back on women, because I need to be
there for them as much as they have been here for me. Though I don’t understand
some of the things women are going through and fight on a daily basis, at least
give me the opportunity to try. My #blackBoyJoy goes into overload when I see
your #blackGirlMagic flourishing. Can you imagine what patronus we would cast
if we actually worked together?
You guys know that I really try to live my best life through
laughing and smiling. The world is so draining at times, I feel the need to
lighten the mood and maybe that’s just me. It has to be hard on the mind and
body to be so aware of everything that is going on. I know it is for me.
Sometimes I just need to take a minute and binge on The Office. Can you imagine
being Dwight Schrute for 24 hours? Close your eyes and truly imagine!!! How fun
would life be? AMAZING!!!
Today I felt defeated, not for being called an idiot, but
for letting it get to me. My good friend stated, “… You may not hate women but
that certainly isn’t the [Duke] I know to run from someone’s bullshit.” On any
other day, she would have been absolutely right, but on today, I just needed to
breathe. But on tomorrow, and after a new dose of these 60mgs of emotional
goodness, your boy may be on a blocking spree. TRY JESUS AND NOT ME WITHCHO
BITTER ASS! I’m sorry, I had to get that
last one in!!! To the three ladies, please accept my apology if I hurt you in anyway. Even though our paths may never cross again and I may never get the same apology, I forgive you. In the words and advice from another friend, I'm gonna do my work so that I spot the signs in the future and exit promptly.
PS… I truly do miss you guys and writing these little
grammatically incorrect pieces of foolishness. This is really the best catharsis
I know. I share my purest form of self and I never want to compromise doing
that by just dropping random pieces. Know that I am living my best life. I got
my Duchess, BabyGuh, and my 2 Lords. Everything I do, I do for them. Until next
time, keep your sanity and virtue.
Sophistication:
Detaching from things
and people that trigger negative emotions
Ratchetness:
GOING THE FUCK OFF ON
BITCHES THAT TRIGGER YOU
Now put them
together... SOPHISTICATED
RATCHETNESS!!
