Friendship is Essential to the Soul

Hey people! I hope that you are doing well and miss me just as much as I have missed you. Life is just as crazy as usual and these people are still getting on my nerves, but I'm not here to speak on them today. But don't you worry, there are enough dumb asses in the world for me to write a million blog posts, so trust, I'm going to get to them sooner than later. I PROMISE!! Today, I want to take the time to praise some great people in my life, MY FRIENDS!!! Believe me, if you think I'm bad, I have nothing on them! NOTHING!

Friendship is essential to the soul, #noQueDawg! It took me a long time to realize this but without them, I don't know how I would have gotten this far in my life. I was one of those people who would always say, "I don't need anyone but me!" That was a lie formulated from the bowels of hell. I needed my friends, and I still do. I will ride and die for each and every last one of them. Some more than others lol. If you know me, then you should know that I'm ready to have a "nigga moment" at any time when it comes to them. Matter of fact, there have been a couple of "nigga moments" that I'm still kinda pissed that I was apart of, but hell, if you can't go to Bella Noche's, where the hell can you go! That's what a real friend does. Accept your foolishness and cuss you out later for it, #trueStory.

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT, NOT REALLY*

Bravis and WaTosha!! Wow the times and stories that we have shared over the years. We could have a comedy show that would never end. You guys have accepted every part of me and encouraged me to be better. I will always love you. Though we don't see each other often, I look forward to that Christmas meet and greet every year! Matter of fact, lets change that comedy show to a traveling food show, cause we can get to it! I wish you nothing but the best in everything you do. I pray for you two every night and my heart is elated when I am around you. If you ever wondered, where my shade skills came from, you can blame these two. Fat Rabbit Clique forever.

My GSU folks..... Fall 2005, changed my life forever. I truly never imagined the relationships that I would gain when I enrolled there. I promise you, I was a true commuter. I spent more time on Hwy 316 than I did in class. From SideBar Thursdays, to Sensational Sub Pitchers, to drunken Midday BBQ's, the random road trips, to marriages, kids, promotions, relocations and growing the hell up. You guys really showed me what friendship was all about. Diggles... there's no one like you. The Jamaican, Jonnel, so much I can say. Jahater, I know you hate that! The Frat, I ain't naming all of yall, but I'm proud of you. De and Byrone, I could never thank you enough. Foye and your bad knees, I appreciate you. And the rest of yall... I'm going to move on from yall cause I am already crying. The epitome of "When Friends Become Family".

My church friends, you make me do better. You make me want to do better. I'm a ratchet Christian and I think you guys get me. I'm still a work in progress and I know yall are reading this. I'll try to work on my language, some... a little... maybe... lol. Thank you for being there. We may not all still attend the same church, but you are all still in my heart. You guys are real and understanding and always point me back to the cross, even though I'm a hard head and don't listen sometimes. I do get it and I'm not mad at it. I just ask that you get off that "reply all" button, but I still love you, even if I have blocked you. That was for the benefit of me and your feelings! Or maybe because I'm petty and you have no choice but to deal, lol. Mangel and Pike thank you for everything you do.

Jerrance and Teff, yall already know so yall gets no shine here! We are due for a Dimension Round Table anyway.

My best friend. The one that I constantly argue with on a daily basis. Wary Might... you get on my nerves, but I love you more than this blog could ever convey. I know there are times that I don't show and tell you in the way I should, but I do love you. You do be getting on my nerves though. Yes, I said it twice, but you're one of my proofreaders and will probably remove this whole statement because you are just as shady and petty as I am. See, I've taught you well. Anyway, I know it's only because you truly want me to be the best man I can, even when you have no idea what the hell that is. I still don't know what that is. But, I guess we will find it together. Oh thank you for the concert tickets!! I'm going to see JILL AND CHRISETTE!!!

Without you people, my life would have been over a long time ago. Literally, you guys have talked me in off the ledge and circumvented a potential suicide. You have totally changed my life for the better. You have truly been essential to the saving of my soul. So, technically it is your fault that I am who I am. Congrats, you created a MONSTER!!

Now for a Duke's direct message:

Tonita and Bynerria, I don't know what I would do without yall on a daily basis! Meet my proofreaders. I should probably put them on payroll... nah, they good. I spend most of my life with these two, and they know me better than I know myself sometimes. Ms. Fix Your Face, I love you past our 40 hours a week. I'm praying for your dreams to come true. When they manifest, I will be one of your biggest supporters. We need people like you in the world. Ms. Bulldagging Ass, stay sweet and caring and continue to speak positivity in the world. I'll learn you some real shit before I leave this Earth. Thank you for listening and blessing me with that snort. You are like a little sister and I'll read and shade anyone you tell me to cause I love your heart. Thank both of yall for keeping my check direct deposited, cause you know, I've had my moments.

Sophistication:

Surrounding yourself with people, who want the best for you

Ratchet:

Sitting in the corner, and shading the masses

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS!!

 

 

Sincerely Yours,

Duke R. de la S.

 

 

CoCoa Puffs, Cymbalta, and 24 Hours to Life

Greetings and Salutations,

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo, I never start my day without my CoCoa Puffs and Cymbalta. I thoroughly enjoy both. Hell those CoCoa Puffs are just the best cereal ever created and that Cymbalta is everything I need to get through these days. It has been a very emotional and draining couple of weeks for me. DRAY NEEN! When I tell you that my emotions have been all over the place and shit just keeps getting thrown in the mix. But, the good thing about all of this is that I have finally come to the point of contentment and grace. Me and God have been having some heated conversations and arguments. I have realized that his grace was, is, and will always be sufficient even in the times where I'm lying in bed crying uncontrollably, feeling alone and abandoned. You remember when I told yall I was gonna get real with yall about my feelings and life, well get ready cause here it goes....

Picture it, Sicily, 1939.... lol. No seriously though, Sunday July 26th, I woke and got up to go to the bathroom. I stand up and immediately hit the floor. Bodily functions doing their own thing. I lay there, covered in everything that I despise. Weakness. Neediness. Fear. Uncertainty. Confusion. Shit and Piss. Thank God for surrounding me with great people who stepped in and took care of me. This doesn't just happen once, but 3 times. What the hell is going on!? Today is just full of shit, literally. Ok, Duke, you're clearly sick. Get in the bed and stay there.

Monday, July 27th. I wake up, still sick, worse than the day before. I get help and make my way downstairs and lay on the couch. I'm fed crackers and Gatorade. Crackers and more Gatorade. Crackers. Gatorade. In the midst, I can't physically stand, literally crawling to the bathroom and back. Crackers. Gatorade. Dizziness. Nausea. Sleep. I spend hours on the couch. I wake up and ask for help to the bathroom. I'm lifted off the couch and pass out. In and out of consciousness... 3 white men.... stretcher... ambulance... hot... EXTREMELY HOT... voices.... more voices... I want to go home... why the fuck is it so hot?...

I wake up in the hospital. Frantic white women... boo thang in the corner... IV's in both arms... blood pressure cuff hurts... more frantic white women... bags of fluids... SCARED... why is boo thang's face all pale?... why am I here?... I want to go home... 4 bags of fluids... no 6 bags of fluids... no 5 bags of fluids... why don't yall know this?... Frustrated... #QTNA... ER... blood pressure not reading... more fluids... central line... WHAT!?... damn that hurts... blood pressure still not reading... I want to go home... I want to go home NOW... tears... someone tell me something... they don't have the answers SWAY..." Mr. Morgan...." "Mr. Morgan, we need you to be still..." more tears... fear... blood pressure cuff still hurts... squeezes every 2 minutes... I want to go home... home... nurse speaks... "Good thing you came in when you did, you wouldn't have made it another day..." HUH?... "Mr. Morgan you aren't going anywhere soon. You're going to the ICU..." More tears...

Needless to say, the SCARIEST moment in my life, they diagnosed me with Rhabdomyolysis which sent my body into a septic shock.

Rhabdomyolysis is a serious syndrome due to a direct or indirect muscle injury. It results from the death of muscle fibers and release of their contents into the bloodstream. This can lead to complications such as renal (kidney) failure. This occurs when the kidneys cannot remove waste and concentrated urine. In rare cases, Rhabdomyolysis can even cause death. 

5 days in the hospital.

This is why you haven't received a blog post. Again, this has been an emotional couple of weeks. The one year anniversary of being given 24 hours to live has definitely been playing tricks on my mind. How do you live after hearing something like that? Did I just beat Death? Is Death coming back in the form of a speeding bus like the chick in Final Destination? Hell, knowing me, it would probably come back in the form of food poisoning in some ribs or chicken. To be honest, that trip to the ER was just the beginning of the most difficult year of my life. 5 months later I'm back in the hospital... Kidneys all the way jacked and life changing.

So forgive me for not posting my ratchet thoughts on the world and the things in it. I needed time to get myself right... mind, body, and soul. I want to thank my cousins for listening and still loving me. That cabin trip was everything that I needed. My big bro, Sir, thank you for having my back literally and holding me up when I thought I couldn't stand. My little bro, thanks for the verbal confirmation of my faith. Sometimes I forget. You always seem to amaze me in so many ways. I love you and your wife. My big sister, I promise to pick up the phone and check in... maybe, lol.

It's now August and the world is better and I will be ok. My emotions will always be crazy because my psychiatrist says I'm clinically depressed, but Cymbalta has become my best friend. Let me tell you, those 10 mgs a day put in WERK! OVA TYME! Thank you United Healthcare for making those pills FREE! My life is a lifetime movie I swear. Or maybe more of a dark comedy. Oh well, if it ever becomes a movie, just make sure that Anthony Anderson plays my character. I'm just gonna end this before I start crying again, which happens without warning sometimes. Mental illness is real in these streets and it took me 34 years to finally get mine in check. This year has been trying and I have put the people in my life through so much. For that, I'm sorry. I'll make yall some BBQ later. I am no longer wearing the mask that grins and lies, hides my cheeks, and shades my eyes. Yall are going to get the real me, flaws and all. Plus, have you seen how photogenic I am. Get you a piece! I have lived my life for the comfort and thoughts of others. I have made decisions for the benefit of those around me. But no more. When I leave my footprints in the sands of time, I want to leave them with no regrets. I would like to promise yall that I will do better and try to post every week again, but NAHHHHHHHHH! Just wait on it! For those who reached out to me during my absence, thank you. This blog has been a journey and I have enjoyed everything from it. Until next time... Peace and Blessings. CoCoa Puffs and Cymbalta. Ass and Tiddays. Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Sophistication:

Finding peace and understanding in your mental illness and disease

Ratchet:

Finding joy and strength in calling your medication, Crazy Pills

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... SOPHISTICATED RATCHETNESS!!

Sincerely Yours,

Duke R. de la S.

Your Prayers Ain't Powerful and Your Faith Ain't Shit

Greetings,

If you haven't heard about the recent tragedy of Alton Sterling, then wake the hell up cause you have definitely been oblivious to the world and the things in it. Or maybe you just don't care. Or maybe you're like me, numb. Not emotionless, just numb. I wake up everyday, thank the good Lawd that I made it through another night of his grace, and expect one of my black brothers or sisters to be dead. I expect it. Why? Because we as black men and women are expendable in the eyes of America. The home of the brave and the mentally enslaved. I'm over it. OVER IT.

I've seen so many of my people be murdered just for being black. Then I look at my child. My 10 year. My BabyGuh. Energetic, creative, opinionated, talkative and full of the most beautiful melanin. The beauty of her smile melts my heart sometimes and I think to myself, "I'm doing a hell of a job." But I worry about her. She has a tendency to ask questions and provide explanations on how and why she should or should not do things that she is asked. Not because she is defiant, but because she has the ability to communicate how and what she feels. During those times I usually hit her with the same thing that's been said for generations... BECAUSE I SAID SO! What I really want to say is, "Because you are black! You are hated for that reason and that reason alone. Because you are smart, and that makes you a threat. Because you need to learn that most white people don't care about you or your opinions. Because a cop can drag you out of your car, or school desk, put you in a choke hold until you stop breathing. Because Daddy wants you to LIVE!" How do you teach your child how to play a game that she is more than likely going to lose? How do you teach the child the evils of the world without taking her innocence? HOW SWAY HOW?

I was born and raised in Oxford, MS and you better believe that by the time I was 10, I had already watched every episode of Eyes on the Prize Series, Roots, The Color Purple, Shaka Zulu, and the Imitation of Life, MULTIPLE TIMES. MULTIPLE! I had a fear and respect for the police and white people before I could even distinguish what really made us different. All this while hearing the Ole Miss Rebel Marching Band playing Dixie in the background while the Colonel ran down the field with a confederate flag. I knew more black history facts than I did my times tables, until I met Queenie Barnes. I even had teachers tell me that I was too smart for my own good. So I know what it feels like to be seen as less than before you even know your true worth. It's a horrible feeling and I would never want to put that on my child.

I was strolling through Facebook today, you know the new source of all media and opinions. I realized that we all are feeling some kind of way about this tragedy. The emotions are all over the place and people are tired. I also feel like we are so far on the spectrum on what the solution should be, that we will never come together and make an impact that America needs to feel. You got the Burners over here burning down their own community, the Praying Aint's over there ain't doing nothing but praying, the Stay Wokes at Apache Cafe', and the Affluents too busy distancing themselves. The question I have is, "What will bring us all together?'

And I'm gonna wrap this up with a Duke's Direct Message to my fellow Christians:

So you would like to know where do we start? Well damn it here it goes.... Christians, we need to move beyond the benediction into boldness. The Lawd said he would fix it, and you best believe I'm standing on his word. But do you fools not realize that the Lawd is trying to fix it through us? Stop being a prime example of "when being saved goes wrong." My friend just said... "...[Duke] ain't got zero time or fucks to give." Ma'am, you would be correct. I don't have one Jesus Blood Covered one to give and my chronological timepiece ain't working. We are suppose to be the light of the world, then tell me why every time we get an opportunity to shine, we hide behind prayer? Think about it, who has the largest number of members in their organization? CHRISTIANS... well we so called Christians. So why are we not out here consolidating the churches, organizing these protests, praying with the people and community openly? Why are we not showing the people how to maneuver and make change? Isn't that what disciples are suppose to do? Be of the world and not conformed to it. Hell, I wouldn't even know because we are not out there. No we just sit back with our eyes closed and our head bowed to what's going on in the world and the people around us. Whose gonna be our new Martin, Malcolm, Jesse, and Al.? I heard someone say that saving souls and baptizing people is our response to Ferguson. UMMMM NO SIR IT'S NOT!!! And if you truly believe that, then I see why the world is still full of darkness. Being killed because we are black has nothing to do with if I'm saved or not. How about we go into the community, that we are so quick to say we are trying to help, and actually see what the people need. I guarantee you that if I am hungry, I would take a ham sammich over your prayer any day of week. That's where start... beyond your comfort zone and workless prayers. Sometimes I'm just unable to can. This is why it's so hard for me to find the balance between my blackness and my Jesus. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that this ole world is not home, I'm just passing by.

Sophistication:

Doing the best you can to take of your family by any means necessary

Ratchet:

Killing an unarmed father whose is trying to take care of his family

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... IT'S A DAMN SHAME!!

Sincerely Yours,

Duke R. de la S.

If You Don't Sit Cho Ass Down Somewhere!!!....

Greetings and Good Morning People,

Let's get started! I've been waiting a whole day to try and calm down plus get my thoughts together. Good thing I couldn't get to a real keyboard yesterday, but I guess the Lawd knew I needed time to save some of these feelings I'm about to hurt and piss off. Let's start off with my Facebook status:

Let's break this down. Well yesterday in church I heard a man tell us that "we were too well-adjusted in today's society", I was like hmmmmmm.... here we go, then I heard a plethora of judgment and condescending remarks. I rolled my eyes so hard I damn near went to sleep. First of all, we need to get off our high horses and stop having this mentality that "What I believe in is totally right and if you aren't fully on board then you're wrong." If you don't go and sit down some where. Second of all, who asked you!?! I didn't come here for this bashing and what you personally think. Oh, when I tell you I clocked out so many times during this speech of foolishness, I dang near got fired.


I love every last one of ya'll and if you ask me about my religion and what I believe, I will give you a heart felt dissertation on why I love the Lord cause he saved my soul and died on the cross for me and my sins. I love you enough to let you disagree and have your own opinion on what you believe. What I'm not gonna do is sit around and tell you that you're wrong and you're on a slow fall to Hell. That ain't even my place. I have enough tolerance for you to let you live your life in the way that you see fit. I'm strong enough in myself and my Jesus to say OK and not debate about who's right or who's wrong. I can respect your opinion on why my Jehovah Jireh may not be your provider. I've read multiple stories of how and why people have left the bosom of the Lawd. When I tell you, I felt so many emotions while reading them. But, never in those emotions did I feel sorry for them or feel that these people were wrong for taking off the Full Armor of Gawd. Matter of fact I was like, "Hell, I would have left too!" But that's not my story to tell. I can't tell it like they can tell it. Meanwhile, ya'll take a trip on over to this great blog series and read for yourself: The Unfit Christian: A Shot of Henny in Your Communion Cup.



So yes, I am too well-adjusted in today's society. It's the society that I live in. Would I like for it to be better and different? Of course. Would I like for everyone to think like I think? Hell yes, if ya'll did, I wouldn't have to write this dang blog. But, that's the beauty of this world. I get to be me and you get to be you. Now, do I fully understand the world and the people in it? Man, listen... I don't even understand most of the foolishness that's going on in my own life. Here's a list of shit that I still have not fully grasped. Ready, here it go... Parenthood, Marriage, Kidney Disease, Pancreatitis, Colon Cancer, Depression, Xbox, Peeing with the Door Open, Lace Fronts and Leave Outs, PMS, and Dumb People. Soooooooooooo, who I look like trying to tell you what the hell is going on in your life. But, what I do understand is that my rights end where yours begin. So, ya'll sit cho ass down somewhere and let these people live. Drop your judgments. Change your attitude and mind your damn business.

 

On top of that, ya'll stop letting these people get to you. Live your life. We spend too much time worrying about what other people think and how they feel, while sitting here depressed because we can't be who we are. Marry who you want. Love who your heart tells you to. Change whatever you think you need to. Use whatever bathroom you want. Say what you want. Dream big. Chase those dreams. And pay everybody dust that stands in your way. Once you become confident in who and what you are, take a deep breath, and with all the bass in your chest, tell these people to SIT CHO ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE!!

Until next time. Keep your head up and your haters down.

Sophistication:

Having a clutch purse that matches your ensemble perfectly

 

Ratchet:

Making that purse and ensemble completely out of curtains from Anna's Linen and walking in the club PURSE FIRST!

 

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... SOPHISTICATED RATCHETNESS!

 

Sincerely Yours,

 

Duke R. de la S.

 

Let Me ReIntroduce Myself...

Greetings and Salutations,

First giving honor to God whose the head of my life, the Passa and the First Lady, members, friends and family.... WELCOME TO SOPHISTICATED RATCHETNESS. I am Duke Ratchetness de la Sophistication and I am here to give you my unsolicited and unedited opinion on the world and the things in it. But first let me give you this wonderful disclaimer: I am not a writer. I didn't go to school for it and I'm not going to apologize for it. I will try my best to proofread these blogs before I post them, but I'm gonna be honest... if that little red line doesn't pop up then hell, I'm gonna keep it moving. I'm not gonna format this in any special way and I'm not gonna try to use big words to try to explain myself. I will try not to curse since I'm saved and sanctified now, but that doesn't mean you won't see an ass, or a hell, maybe a damn every once in a while. But what I will try to do is be as honest as possible about how I feel. That's the best thing I can give you. So you will take it and DEAL with it. Or you just wont read this foolishness. Anyway, LEGGO BIHHHHHHHHHHH!

For those of you that know me, WHAT UP! For those that don't know me, it's great to meet me and I'm sure that you will either love me or hate me. There really isn't an in between with me. I was born and raised in Oxford, MS. Lived life. Grew the hell up and got the hell out. That's all you need to know about that. I am now living in Atlanta. Grew up some more, got married, and have a child that I know will be in a psychologist's office sooner than later, but that's my BabyGuh.

I will try to hit yall with a post every week, but if I don't, hell I don't. This is free and I ain't paying for a real domain so I ain't got to please no advertisers. So shout out to Google for giving me a space to make some people mad. I've been contemplating on starting a blog and now I feel like this is the perfect time to create the space in the universe for my opinions. Plus I almost died twice in the last 12 months, so I need to get these thoughts out to the world. Don't worry, I'll tell yall more about my near death experiences later in the blog when the time is right.

 

So buckle your seatbelt like that little white boy in the picture and pull that bih tight across your lap, and get ready. Sophisticated Ratchetness is live and ready to go! There's a plethora of things to talk about and believe me, I'm gonna talk about it.

Sophistication:

highly complicated or developed, having a refined knowledge of the ways of the world cultivated especially through wide experience, devoid of grossness, finely experienced and aware, intellectually appealing

Ratchet:

a horrific mispronunciation of "wretched", very unfortunate in condition or circumstances; miserable; pitiable, characterized by or attended with misery and sorrow, despicable, contemptible, or mean, poor, sorry, or pitiful; worthless

 

NOW PUT THEM TOGETHER.... SOPHISTICATED RATCHETNESS!

 

Sincerely Yours,

 

Duke R. de la S.